Down and Out in Tulum-Don't Talk to Strangers?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009, 1:38 PM

It all started like any other day at the beach. Well, not if you consider spending an hour at an Internet Cafe updating friends and family before checking out of the Poc-na Hostal two blocks from Isla Mujeres´s Playa Norte. ¨Are you staying for the volleyball,¨ Kiki, from Germany, asked. ¨Sorry, but I was planning on leaving by three.¨ ¨Common, stay one more night,¨ Raj, the Brit said. ¨We´re all heading to Tulum tomorrow.¨ ¨Sorry, don´t think that´s in the cards,¨ I said. Oh, did I mention the hour full-body massage? Then a short nap in the air-con dormitory I´d just checked out of. I couldn´t let this beach go by without one last dip in the longest, greenest sea I´d ever seen. Playa Norte, aside from the islands ultra-touristy atmosphere, remains the perfect ¨family¨beach, as the shallow green waters go out for about 300 yards before dropping off. There are, however, little pockets of darker deepness here and there in the shallow area. That´s why we have so many kids, right, in case one or two don´t make it? That woman in this picture is my wife, did I mention I got married? After a half hour swim, I returned to the café to send these last pix off. The reason for all this Internet time, I don’t have a Flash Card for my camera and I can’t erase those Cuba photos until I can save them more permanently. Also, I´d been trying to reserve a room at The Weary Traveler in Tulum, or the slightly more costly Zai-zin Kin Cabañas, which claimed to be right there on the beach. This came as a recommendation from my Ozzie friends sharing the dorm there at the Poc-na Hostal. I´d attempted to call several times the night before, however, the woman behind the counter assured me that there was NO NEED to dial 01, even though the directions in the tele booth said to for National Long Distance. Regardless, I never got through any of their e-dresses nor their numbers. The plan was to grab a shower, say goodbye and get a few e-dresses--still NOT on Facebook! However, as I pass I hear that distinctive pup---pup of the volleyball games in full swing. It can´t already be three? It was four. I had to stay for a few games as Kiki and many of the newer kids were, like me, re-learning the game. Don´t Talk to Strangers OK, so it´s 6 p.m. and I´m on the 15-min ferry back to Cancún. As always there´s this crush to get on the top deck and this family of four is split up. Sure I could´ve given up my end seat for the little tyke so he would be closer to his Mamita and infant sister, but my big black ass was already wedged into the end metal seat with my huge black backpack literally stuck between my legs and the hard metal backing of the seat in front of me. As we set off I start taking pictures, deleting most and taking a few more. ¨¿Puedes tomar una foto?¨ I asked little Mario. He never once spoke to me so I´m giving him this name. He only shook his head. ¨Do you know how?¨ Another shake, no. ¨Here, all you do is press this silver....¨ but he´s already shaking, vehemently. ¨It´s really easy, try it.¨ ¨I can do it,¨ a woman next to him on the end says. So there you have that one of me seemingly floating in the air. A little while later, Mario´s sister starts wailing as if Mamita was pulling out all her fingernails. You´ve seen this cry, angry red face, trembling flailing body and tears streaming like the Nile. Still, all she was doing was restraining her from climbing all over the back of the dirty, metal seat in front of them. Yet, the tears ran so much some were reaching for their "floatation devices securely fastened beneath" their seats. ¨Ella quiere subir, como un mono,¨ I tell the kid whose tongue can´t be found. He nods. ¨Were you like that when you were little?¨ He´s nodding, yes, before I even finished. ¨¿Really, en serio?¨ He nods more adamantly. What is this kid some kind of BoBblE Head? The girl finally settles down and we are only a few minutes from docking. This has been a long 15 minutes. ¨Mama, can I get something when we get off?¨ Mario asked. So he DOES have a tongue! ¨You had a chance to get something on the island,¨ Mamita scolds. ¨She´s cranky and we have to get going.¨ ¨¿Vas a llorar como ella?¨ I said, letting out a winning short-lived whine. ¨Waa, waa, waaaaaaa. ¡Yo quiero algo!¨ He smiled.